Letting Go

When a man or a woman is in the “approach” mode, it’s normal to keep communication between them, either through BBM, SMS, Phone, or any other mains. This is called a “trial period". During this time, the man or the woman suddenly decides not to continue anymore.

He or she stops picking up the phone, stops replying SMS or BBM, basically stop communicating. I have my frustrations with this, and a friend explained it to me in ways that I can understand, and finally let it go. If you think that this doesn’t apply to you, then it’s different for every person. Let me try to sum up her explanation…..

There are a couple of things why a girl or a guy doesn’t explain. There’s a possibility that she does care for you and doesn’t want to hurt you. There is a saying “The truth shall set you free”. In some cases, the truth will only hurt you.

There are some reasons behind why a person stops communicating:
1. Another (better) person comes along
2. Family doesn't approve
3. I was just having fun with you. Now I m bored.
4. You are just my fling to make my ex jealous. Now he/she asked me to go back together

Conclusion : I don't have feeling for you anymore. So why shall I continue ?

1,3,4 – when someone told you this to your face, you definitely become infuriated…
2. – family rules over everything. Nothing you can do.

A man or a woman might say , “Who are u to ask for my explanations? We are not even dating”. This is to put it bluntly. Maybe if you are already in a relationship, the person might owe an explanation to you.
Even in the dating world, asking for an explanation can hurt you like a thousand needles…let’s say a guy is asking to break up with the girl. Then the girl is hurt because of him asking to, and insist that they stay together. Later the girl find out that there is another girl. If the girl just let him go at that point, there will be less heartache. When confronted, he says, “I already lost my feeling to you. And I asked for the breakup, but you are insisting not to. Now that you find out, what do you wanna do ? I did tell you and ask you to let me go…”

I’m not saying that this has to happen to everyone. Sometimes a relationship is worth fighting for. But on other cases, it’s better to let it go.......

Another situation, let’s say the girl like the guy since he is serious. Then she tell her parents, but they say no. She tries to explain but her parents don’t’ want to take any explanation for whatever reason. Just simple plain NO. As a good daughter she will obey her parents….

When she tell the guy, “ Sorry, my parents don’t approve of you”, what’s going to happen ? That statement doesn’t help anyone. Being the guy, it complicates things, as he doesn’t’ know what to do. Eloping doesn’t solve anything, and forcing himself to the family will make them clash with each other and eventually ruin them.

So, finally in the end, she keeps quiet and take her distance without telling him anything. This makes the guy confused. Keeps thinking about her and can’t forget her. The guy might think all the negative things about the girl, about being disrespectful, being dishonest, or whatever things come to his mind. This, in a way, makes it easier for him to move on rather than knowing the truth....Eventually, not letting everything out in the open does him more good than bad.

What I'm trying to say is this....whatever happened in the past, the future hasn't happen yet. What you have if is the present, and that is the time to believe in GOD.....believe that He has a better plan….
believe that when one door closes, another one will open….God will open it up for you when it's the right time, and it’s up to you whether you want to cry over the closed door, or accept it and let it go….let Him lead you to the best pathway of your life (Psalm 32:8)

And this is her final quote.
“Relationship at the end is very hard. (I used to say full stop here) - but that's the beauty that God created. We are all different. We aren't perfect. It’s how you compromise. Sacrifices.”

An unfair God ?

I was talking to a friend of mine regarding the fairness of God.....she said, God is not fair...because there are many people who are living life lavishly and they don't have to suffer in their life...they can live their crazy life and repent then get to heaven at the last minute..whereas we as Christians have to suffer in this world....we don't have as much money as a lot of people......

She also said, it's better then to have a level in heaven, where the newly saved and the previously saved will have a different place........I told her that, God is fair in His ways...not our ways...we cannot really judge God and tell Him what to do....God will grant whatever He wants to grant to whoever He choose.....that's fair.....we as human beings won't understand this...but God has a far greater plan for all of us and humanities......

In Matthew 20:1-16 (New Living Translation), the Parable of the Vineyard Workers
in verse 9 people are complaining that the one came late and the one came really early get the same wage...here's the answer:

13 “He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? 14 Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. 15 Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’ 16 “So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”


But in other passage, God will give reward to those who seek for Him...those who do good deeds for Him..there are perhaps at least 30 mentions of reward in the New Testament alone. For instance :

- fasting, where no one knows, has its reward from God- Matthew 6:18
- loving your enemies and do good things to them will have a great reward in heaven - Luke 6:35
- on 2nd coming, God will give you a reward if you have done a good job - Luke 12:43
- you must really seek God to receive reward - Hebrews 11:6

and many more.....so those so-called "last minute repentant" will not get as much as people who really devote themselves for God...

Then my friend mentioned that why is she not happy ? why is she always suffering and receive the short end of the stick ? why does God interfere in one event and not the others...honestly, I don't have answer to that.....but the bible give us clues why we are not happy here on earth....

1 Peter 1:17
And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time as “foreigners in the land.”

So, as long as we are not back in heaven, we will never truly be home as we are “foreigners in the land.” Earth is not our true home....heaven is......the Lord will make everything right and wipe all tears....but that is at the end of days, where Jesus will come for the 2nd time.....

Isaiah 25:8
He will swallow up death forever! The Sovereign Lord will wipe away all tears.He will remove forever all insults and mockery against his land and people.The Lord has spoken!

God bless you all.....

Signs oh signs, where art thou ?

As Christians, we may be guilty of asking too many signs from God...see if these questions sound familiar to you:

- is he/she the one Lord ? give me a sign...
- should I move to another city Lord ? give me a sign...
- should I quit my job Lord ? give me a sign...
- is he/she the one Lord ? then let him come to my house today at 7 pm.....
- is she the one Lord ? then let her sit next to me on the next flight.....

etc etc etc....blah blah blah....

As Philip Yancey wrote in his book Disappointment with God, we crave for signs from God that we only want more signs and forget about God. Sometimes we even control God on how and what the signs should be.....

There are people who don't want to move until God give them signs....you know what ? God is not your personal genie who gives you signs all the time.....and if He can say something to you directly, He might say "What other signs???You have all that you need to know !!"

Sometimes we already know that the person is not for us, but we want to force our way anyway. Sometimes we already know that the only option is to move to the other town, but we don't want to move because it's inconvenient. Deep down we are afraid. We are afraid to make mistakes. We are afraid to be rejected. We are afraid to be disappointed one more time after a series of disappointment. Somehow we want God to say it through other people or through some magnificent event to give us the assurance that what we do is right. At the end, we are assuming things to be signs from Him....even when God doesn't give it to us.....

God longs for us to communicate with Him....so that we don't need roaring thunder, earthquake, and fire from heaven....God comes in a whisper....the closer we are to God, the more we know what He wants in our life....the important thing is to listen......when we stop asking God to "bless ME, help ME, protect ME, cure ME, enhance ME" and start asking God "what do YOU want me to do God ? who do YOU want me to bless today? what can I do to enhance YOUR kingdom today?" then you will be more atoned to His will...

Stop asking for signs and move on already....

The act of faith is taking the first step and let God lead the way rather than asking God to lead the way and never take the first step......

10 tips for wise women - repost.

This is just an opinion...you can agree to it, or disagree to it... btw, a woman is posting this...so this is from her point of view, not from me telling you girls what to do.....=)

If you want to be a woman that men like, especially your boy friend,husband or potential ones, you need to know what kind of attitudes that men commonly like. With this knowledge, you can adjust some things that men dislike, and enhance the ones that they do. When your attitude makes him happy,the greater his love to you.


1.Motherly
many men like a woman with motherly qualities such as warmth, attentive, and full of love. A man will feel comfortable, or safe, when a woman shows this quality to him. You don't have to wait until you have a child to have a maternal instinct. No matter what a woman's personality, every woman has this instinct build within them.

My comment : :
being mothered and motherly is a totally different matter. Men don't like it when you start acting like their mother...(wash your feet, clean up your room, brush your teeth) But men do look for their mother's positive quality in a woman.....


2. Childish
In the normal boundary, a childish woman can be very attractive in the eyes of men. Of course, this is not the annoying child-like behavior,(temper tantrum, selfish, moody) but the playful one. For instance, a woman's playful behavior can initiate the fatherhood in a man, such as his protective nature. This attitude can make a man feel needed, and make him enjoy life more.

3.Understanding
An understanding woman can make a man feel appreciated and accepted as he is. This reflects in tolerance, forgiveness, choosing the right time to criticize, etc. For instance, when a man is making a mistake, an understanding woman will not curse and berate him right then and there, but tries to understand the problem first and talk to him at a better time and place.

4.Appreciative
A woman who can appreciate a man is a man's dream.Male are wired differently, in ways that women like to be treated gently, men like to be appreciated. A sincere compliment, given a trust or responsibility to do something. A woman's appreciation can boost a man's confidence.

5.Pays attention to how they look
Men like women who pays attention to her own style. Attitude shows how a woman appreciate herself, it doesn't matter whether she shows sporty, sexy, or whatever looks she's trying to do.

My comment : :
This of course, to the point of "normal" standard. As a guideline, too much is never a good thing...a 3 centimeters thick make up layer, overdressing (going to the mall but as if going to a rave party), over exposure (leave something to our imagination please), etc.

For me personally, a little touch of make up, a nice dress, and low heel shoes is good enough...

6. Communicative
Men like communicative women, a person that is great to talk to. Men don't like some topics that women like (obviously) But a communicative woman can adjust. She doesn't' become a passive listener, but actively responding to him. She can be a good listener, know how to direct a serious conversation, and make conversations enjoyable.

My comment : :
There's a subtle difference between communicative and talkative...so be aware of this =)

7.Extrovert
An extrovert woman, kind has a plus in the eyes of men. They know how to act in front of older crowd, and also treat the younger crowd. When faced with new situation, even though nervous at first, she can adjust eventually.

My comment : :
Extrovert is not a must...this depends on every person...but a woman who can communicate well with others do catch our eyes....

8.Respect herself
Men likes women who respect herself. By respecting herself, a woman shows a man how he should treat her...

My comment : :
respect herself, but NOT demanding people to respect her. Men don't respond well to threats or demands.....granted, some men don't know how to treat or respect women....but by telling them to do so or complaining that men(or your friends) around you don't do that, most of the time, gets a negative result....

9.Like themselves
Women who like themselves appear more attractive to those who don't. She always smiled looking at her own image in the mirror. She take care of her body, increase her quality of life by giving the best for herself. By liking herself, she has an aura that makes men like her too.

My comment : :
like yourself, but not to the point of narcissistic....that is not a sign of confidence, but arrogance...

10.Sympathetic
Men adores women who are generous, care about others, consoling a grieving person, not choosing her friends, and not trying to look expensive. A sincere kindness will shine naturally, and it reflects a good heart, thus shows the inner beauty that one has.

Final Thought :
Change for the better, but never try to be someone that you are not just to get a guy. At the end, your real self will be revealed, and when reality hits, men will have a lot of difficulty to accept who you really are.

Maybe you girls have some things to post about how men should treat a woman, be my guest.... =)

10 TIPS WHEN TAKING A WOMAN SHOPPING

This is translated loosely from an email.... ^__^


1.Don’t ever say “You still have plenty of clothes!” especially in term of party dresses. Let it be known that a woman will NEVER wear the same dress over and over to a party in a certain community. Let’s say she wore one dress to a wedding of her coworker, that dress will never be worn to another coworker’s wedding

2.Suggesting to a woman to buy a cheaper item might lead you to go to outlet or wholesale stores, and this will be much more tiring. So consider this: expensive and comfortable at the mall, or cheap and tired at wholesale stores.

3.There's no such thing as a pattern in visiting a shop / counter. Can be linear, can be random … if you try to draw a line, it will look like a tangled web. Prepare a compass and a map of the building if necessary, so that you won’t get lost when finding the exit

4.50 cents difference is a very valid reason to go back to the first shop. And you as the companion have to be ready to answer the location of that shop.

5.The classic line “Just looking around” means “Just looking around, then I will try if it fits, then pay for it” Never got deceived by this, especially if you are the fund source

6.Never believe a specific reason to do shopping.When she says "I want to buy a shirt" means she will buy at least another item, could be more.....The shirt? She might buy it…she might not buy it...most of the time she won't even remember....

7.Remember that new shoes require a matching bag, and vice versa. Even a clashing style has to be designed of how clashed it will be.

8.The question “Does this look good ?” must be answered correctly and accurately. You will need the ability to read her mind, because if you say “No” when she really likes the item, it can be very2 fatal. Don’t ever say “I don’t know” or "Yes it looks good" without even looking at it. That answer won't get you home faster.

9.The question “Does this look good on me?” can be followed by the hardest question on the whole known universe “Does this make me look fat?” Be prepared with the best answer.

10. Get your stamina to top notch condition. Why? Because the shopper can sleep in the car on the way home because she’s tired and satisfied with the shopping, while you still have to drive home in the traffic jam.

A prayer for you, my friends....

I pray,
that you will find a person who treats you right
that will accept you for who you are
that will not take you for granted
that will appreciate you as the Lord appreciates His creations

I pray,
that if it's "Thy will be done"
then let it be that God's will
is to grant you happiness
in this life and the next one in eternity

I pray,
that God will grant you understanding,
to know that God loves you very much,
that nothing in your life happens beyond His control

I pray,
that the Lord will reveal Himself in His ways
to let you know that His plan is perfect

and finally I pray,
that God will grant you patience,
as everything will be beautiful in His time.

Amen.

The "Remote Control" relationship

This might seems weird to some of you....but maybe to some it will make sense.

The other day, my remote control died on me. For some reason, it has liquid inside of it. Please don't think of weird things, you pervs....So I have to live without it for a couple of days as it is on repair.

I am a heavy channel flipper. Even in the middle of watching a show, when ads coming on, I will flip to other channels first then go back to the show. So losing the remote control is a pain. This is something only couch potatoes will understand....

Whenever I want to change a channel, I have to get up and go through all the channels one by one to get through the other one, whereas my favorite channels are sometimes 20 channels apart. Even when I want to watch a DVD is a pain. I need to go through all the menus just to find AV2...and I can't even set the sleep timer because it's not available in the main menu, which I find highly inconvenient because I like to leave the TV set on while I'm sleeping....

Finally when I watch a channel, I decide to watch it from start to finish...even with the ads....sometimes whenever I turn on the TV, I just watch whatever is there just because I am lazy to change the channel...

Bear with me...there's a moral to this story...hehehe

This is what our society is like now...everything is easy...as easy as having a remote control....everything comes with a touch of a button....in a relationship, like a program, when we don't like the person, we just "flipped" through other people who are available right now.

Even when people are in a relationship with someone, (while looking at a show) they still want to look through the other "channels" when things got boring or problems start arising...sometimes they forget to get back to their previous show and end up finishing the new show instead.

When a relationship is hard to obtain and needs a lot of work, people will not change partners as easy as changing channels. People will work through it to the end, no matter how bad, from start to finish.

They also have to accept reality, that whatever it is when the TV is on, it's what the person is truly like.
You might have Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, Disney, or C-SPAN. (ooohhh..., grrrroowlllll !!!!, yippee!!!!!, or yawnnnnn......respectively). But that's who your partner is, and you have to stick with it till the end.....

Finally, last but not least, you cannot fall asleep while your spouse is talking as the mute or sleep button don't exist within them.....believe me, the nagging will not put you to sleep...hehehehe

If people don't take a relationship as easy as this, they all might still have a chance in this modern world, where the word "divorce" is said as easy as saying "peanuts"

Well...there you have it folks...my 2 cents on this matter..hope it brightens your day..if it's not, close this note and I'm sorry to waste whatever minutes you spend to read this.

God bless =)