whew!!!! I haven't made any posting for a while....hahaha....well this is part of my spiritual journey......I was finally home after a 4 day full church activities....haven't rested well since March 20.....imagine that for the whole long weekend holiday I have to wake up ranging from 5 and 7 AM....talk about crazy..hahahaha..anyway....I was talking to my mom yesterday during dinner. We talked about our family....how there's always one member of my family that lead an awful life...
From my father's side is my uncle. He is unemployed, living on my father's expense...he has no one to take care of him...his health is deteriorating....and he has become weird, resentful to other people…taking other people's kindness for granted and pity.
From my mother's side, there's one aunt that's always what we say "apes" (bad luck) She's the poorest among her siblings. Her husband got Stroke and now has to live on a wheel chair....her son has been conned multiple times and restarted his business over and over...and now she's fighting everyday with her husband over simple matters because her husband’s deteriorating mental state....
Then one thing that my mom said got to me. "There's always one in a family...not everyone can lead a good and happy life" That strikes a blow….I look at my siblings…my brother has definitely lead a good life after a long struggle….he lives in United States and earning good money now….my sister got married and has two kids and her husband is also earning good money…..that leaves…..me…..
I’m in the stage of my life where I should’ve known what to do…yet here I am. Almost 32….and no clear career path and no girlfriend....I was afraid that I would be that black sheep in my family…..I know I have my God…..and He will plan good things for me…but there’s this room of doubt in my heart…..the combination of self pity and not believing in myself….makes it really hard to see the big picture……
But I am learning to trust God more, that it’s not my capability that will get me through life…but only with the help of God…..I’m learning to surrender…and trying to think like Paul…that even though we are not happy or rich in this earth, our reward in heaven will be much bigger than we can imagine.
However, during this period of time…..I thank God for my spiritual friends….all the people around me that keep on supporting me and pray for me when time is really2 bad….
Please pray for me my friends…..that I will have 100% trust in God in whatever aspects of my life…and I will grow more and more to be like Christ…and no matter what happens I will only turn to Him….
Thank You God for my life….and I will devote everything to you….Teach me not to complain all the time and to give thanks in every circumstances of my life. I will do the possible...and I believe Lord that You will do the impossible.
